Having a baby is a big deal. More so if it was not planned. For some it may be a happy surprise but for others something that is unwelcome and unwanted. There are few problems that cannot be fixed, however, and there are organisations and services out there that can help. For example, you can Stop by the Adoption Alliance in San Antonio Texas, who can help. Adoption agencies provide a more morally acceptable and ethical alternative to termination for many people who have found themselves in this kind of predicament.
What Should I be Feeling?
It is natural to feel guilty that you have a baby growing inside you that you just do not want. This is not about blame, though, it has just come along at the wrong time for your circumstances. Whether it be that you are in an unstable relationship or just not financially able to support another mouth to feed, or body to clothe. It may be that your parents are not supportive or around to help. You may not think that you are a suitable candidate for motherhood. Whatever your feelings, the first person to contact outside of family or friends might be a medical professional who can talk things through with you without judging you.
For information on what is involved with childbirth, click here.
What Should I Do?
You have time to decide. Try to talk about your pregnancy with as many people as you feel able. Sometimes a close friend can be better than a family member. It might seem like there is so much to decide but it is essentially an initial choice between in some way keeping the baby, by giving birth to it, or terminating. If you feel able to carry on until full term and then to give birth, there are others who can then take over and take good care of your baby. In terms of timescale, you will need to bear in mind how long a baby can medically and legally be allowed to grow for until it is not possible to terminate it anymore. For example, Texas bans any abortions after 20 gestation, barring a life-threatening medical condition, or a foetus with severe abnormality. Then, after 16 weeks, the procedure can be performed only at an ambulatory surgical establishment or a hospital.
If you elect for an adoption, then the agency will conduct a home study in relation to the adoptive parents, as well as counselling you as the birth mother. This is so that everyone is comfortable with proceeding, understands fully what is going to happen, and in terms of the adoptive parents, what is expected of them. It is about matching the baby with suitable parents that have the right attitude to caring for your baby until it becomes an adult and able to make its own way in life.
Who Can Help?
Whether or not you plan for it, or miss the termination deadline, there are adoption services that can help you place your baby into a loving and stable home, where its adoptive parents will care for your baby and financially support it until it comes of age. Parents equipped right now to look after your child and ensure its future happiness. It is a difficult decision either way but at least with adoption you will know that you will be giving your baby a chance, by putting it into the loving arms of families out there that are often desperate to have a child because they cannot medically themselves.
Be reassured, that you will not be the only person in the world making this decision and that it is amazing how talking with even one other person, perhaps a complete stranger, can help put things into perspective. If you are reading this because you are in this situation, I wish you well, whatever you decide.